Maureen's Top Three

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present, for your viewing pleasure, my own personal list of the Top Three Things You Would Never Want to Buy from a Vending Machine:

Number Three:


Literature!
I wonder what genius at the publishing house came up with this brilliant marketing plan. Granted, Germans are the Volk der Dichter und Denker, but I still think they’re unlikely to buy a book from a vending machine, even if they’re desperate.

Number Two:


French Fries!
Ready in forty-five seconds and 40% less fat! (Although it begs the question, forty percent less fat than what?)

And, finally, the Number One Thing You Would Never Want to Buy from a Vending Machine:


Hot Dogs!
Can anyone say, “Eww?”